Out of the past twelve days Steve has been away for ten. He woke me up briefly on Monday morning but apart from that I haven't seen him since last weekend so as much as I love you - which is muchly - I am blowing you off tonight.

PS In light of Steve's repeated and extended absences I recently have been engaging with all sorts of things that usually are not within my purview; like litter boxes, the bi-weekly recycling and the grill. I cook a lot - one might say I make food for people all the time without ceasing forever and ever ad infinitum god help me - but I do not often use grill and there was a learning curve in the past two weeks. For example, I experienced a lot of sticking the other night with some skirt steak skewers so I went online to discover how to prevent this before I attempted fish. The internet was fairly clear: heat the grill, use a brush to clean it, then soak a paper towel in olive oil and use tongs to swab the grates. I followed these steps exactly but within seconds of the oil-soaked paper towel hitting the grill it burst into flames, fell from the tongs and lay in strips over the grates, burning away.   

It felt a little bit like Hanukkah in that a tiny bit of oil appeared to burn forever but for the most part it felt like I was doing it wrong.

So Simple Once You Know

This morning Edward reached into the freezer, extracted two waffles and shut the door. Then he opened it again and peered inside.

"Mom?" he said.


"Why is there a pair of shoes in the freezer?"

I laughed and walked over to get the shoes.

"Thanks!" I said. "I almost forgot that they were in there."

"But why are they in the freezer?" he repeated.

"I guess it must seem weird but it's pretty simple. I bought a pair of shoes that were too narrow for my feet so when I got them home I needed to stretch them. I put on a pair of thick socks and then the shoes and then I heated my feet with a hairdryer for a couple of minutes to help soften the leather. Then I took off the shoes, filled two plastic bags with water, shoved the bags into the shoes and put them into the freezer. As the water turned to ice it expanded and - hopefully - made the shoes a bit wider. Make sense?"

Edward continued to stare at me, a puzzled expression on his face.

"What?" I said. "As water freezes it gets a bit bigger."

"OK but I'm just trying to understand why you don't think it is weird that you bought a pair of shoes that you know didn't fit you."